Friday, March 16, 2012

MIA

I know, my presence in the blogosphere has been minimal lately. My 3-4 posts a week have dwindled down to 1 or 2 if I'm lucky.

It's partially because we don't have a lot of picturesque events going on this time of year.

And partially because we have been hit by the plague this winter and someone has gotten sick at least once a month.


It's partially because I have a two year old who has learned to throw tantrums.

But it's mostly because all of my spare time has been devoted to designing other blogs instead of updating my own. It's hard to squeeze in time for my own records when I am being paid to work on others'.

However, I'm starting to miss my neglected blog. Today was the first time I pulled out my camera in two weeks. I am still striving to find a good balance of working from home, where there is always more work to do, and it's right at my fingertips. 

I know you are all going though withdrawals too (haha). Be patient with me :)

 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Good and the Not-as-Good

Troy got home late last night from a trip to New York. As usual when he is away, it was a mixture of good and not-as-good around here.

The good:
  • I brought up the Christmas Tree box from the basement for the boys to play with. It was colored, painted, and transformed into a pirate ship, a car, a time machine, Neverland, and a "scary" closet.
  • We rented a Redbox movie & picked out candy from the gas station; our tradition for whenever Troy is away.
  • A sitter came over on Saturday so I could sneak away and attend one of my best friend's baby shower. It was adorable and my head is spinning with ideas for the next shower I throw.
  • I got a lot of work done, despite the fact that I had cords running across the family room because Troy took my laptop with him.
  • A couple of friends came over to watch a show that shall remain nameless and we stayed up talking till the wee hours of the morning.
  • It's Cadbury mini-egg season.
  • We had one nice day before it snowed again. I may have been over-ambitious, but we biked to the park and had a picnic lunch. It was still a tad chilly for that. 



The not-as-good:
  • Blake may or may not have been electrocuted. A nightlight, a quarter with two big burn marks, and a blown fuse were involved. He came downstairs crying but said that he didn't remember getting hurt.
  • I endured some not-so-fun side effects from the antibiotic I was on for my sinus infection. I will spare the details.
  • Our furnace broke down for the umpteenth time.
  • My cell phone fell out of my back pocket into the toilet. I'm crossing my fingers that it will still work after disassembling, vacuuming, and soaking in rice for 24 hours.
  • I freaked out a bit about J-walking while Blake was on his bike. Where we live, the crosswalk is just too far away to backtrack to the park. Blake's little feet peddled as fast as they could and we made it across the street safely, but talk about stressful. I think he has outgrown his tricycle.

I'm always glad when Troy comes home so I can both laugh and commiserate with him.

 

Friday, March 2, 2012

On this Day, Ten Years Ago

On March 2nd, 2002, life as I knew it ended.

I was wrapping up my senior year in high school and every ounce of hard work and dedication that I invested in those four years culminated on that fateful day.

I was never one of those girls who daydreamed about getting married or becoming a mom or even going to college. I knew in the back of my mind that all of those things would come, but I just didn't think much about my future back then.

That was because I was 100% absorbed in winning the state championship for competitive cheerleading.


Our high school didn't have "typical" cheerleaders. We never cheered for basketball games, we were all on the honor roll, and our season lasted from August to March. Football season was a time to prepare for competitive season. We practiced three hours every day, five to six days a week. We took weekly group and private gymnastics lessons. We bench pressed. We sprinted for agility. We ran miles to build up endurance. We coached younger girls in our spare time. We spent 10 hours every Saturday in locations all over the state for competitions. We literally lived, sweated, and dreamed competitive cheer.

Our school had a legacy of winning competitions. We had several state championships under our belt, and an entire community of support rallying around us. In my senior year, we sailed through our conference and regional competitions, once again making us eligible for the state finals.

Our team was the first in school history to add a synchronized back tuck into our routine. We perfected the timing and landing of that difficult skill throughout the season, giving us a great shot at the state title. Our tight-knit group of twelve seniors was ready to fight to the end with the rest of our team in our last chance for the reigning title.

We were almost always flawless in execution. It was unlikely for any team to outscore us. With the exception of one.

Rochester.

Saying that name still makes a chill run up my spine.

The Rochester team came from the other side of the state, so it was rare to compete against them until the state finals. Just like us, they also had a legacy of state championships. The title went back and forth between our two teams since the program began.

March 2, 2002 marked the end of my four-year career. It was the last state finals that I competed in, and our team knew that the competition would be stiff. But we also knew that we had a great chance at winning if we executed all of our rounds with perfection.

And we did.

Every stunt was hit, every back-tuck and back-handspring was perfectly in sync, and every motion was flawless.

Then, Rochester performed their third and final stunting round. The entire fan base collectively gasped when they dropped a stunt, which was unheard of for a team of their caliber.

In that moment, we knew that we were only minutes away from receiving the state championship. And Rochester did too. The girls on their team began congratulating us before the awards were given out.

But then the impossible happened.

A moment where time stood still and even when I think back now, the shocked emotions still come flooding back.

The Runner-Up title went to us

Even though we performed to perfection, we placed second. No one could believe the outcome. We came up three points short to Rochester's 715.5 point score due to subjective judging.


I still get chills every time I watch the video that was made for us that showcases the state finals. That day represented so much more to me than a first place title. It meant every sacrifice, every injury, and every lost night of sleep because I couldn't "land" my back-tuck yet. It meant every fundraiser, every team sleepover, every dreadful summer camp, and 1700 hours of practice. It meant my entire team; girls I spent more time with than my own family.

The part that really touches me is the clip of our fan section, roaring with support. Parents, students, faculty, media, and the entire community were there to support us. I am always brought to tears in the moment where we knew that our fate was sealed as the champions. Before the official outcome was announced, we knew in our hearts that we couldn't have performed more perfectly. And no crowning award will ever be able to take that moment away from us.
(The six-minute video goes through our warm-ups and the three rounds we competed in, with a few uniform changes. It ends with the final outcome and lots of tears being held back.)

I have occasionally thought back to that experience and the extreme disappointment that none of us understood at the time. Sometimes I still dream about the rush of competing. I don't think I have ever felt a rush in quite the same way in any other aspect of my life. Sometimes I still try to make sense of what happened that day, and what we possibly could have gained from that defeat.

Some of the lessons are obvious. Life isn't fair. Hard work isn't always measured by awards and trophies.

Other lessons are less apparent. Recently, I came across a card that my beloved coach wrote to me just a couple of months before the state finals.

I was intimidated by her at the time, which is probably why she was such an excellent coach. But now, I have come to a whole new level appreciation for her devotion. The amount of dedication and sacrifice it requires to bring teams to the state finals year after year is exponential.

While our team was completely absorbed in adding one more championship to our repertoire, she subtly taught us that there was a bigger picture in life. She took the time to handwrite individual cards to our 30 team members and gave them to us at our Christmas party.

She wrote to me, "The thing you need to remember is that these are skills you're trying to accomplish - they don't determine who you are inside."

At the time, I did think that my skills determined who I was to a certain extent. And maybe it took placing second in the biggest competition of my life to realize that my identity went beyond "Grandville Cheerleader." To be forced to move on to bigger and brighter things.

I have always wondered why my wonderful coach still comes back year after year and why she devotes her life to teams who may or may not win the state championship.

I see now that it has less to do with winning and more to do with shaping lives. Teaching young women about responsibility, hard work, dedication, team work, and pushing beyond natural limits.

Though our specific loss made the world came to a crashing halt, my teammates and I have moved on from that fateful day. We have college degrees and careers and marriages and children. We are happy and thriving individuals.

All of my keepsakes and newspaper clippings from that all-consuming chapter of my life are now condensed into one manila folder.

I scarcely think about that phase of my life unless I pull out the pictures to reminisce.

Tonight, exactly ten years after my final competition, another Grandville team went into the state finals hoping for a championship title.

I watched the live footage streaming from across the country, and my heart sank for them when another team was declared the state champion. 

Because I know exactly how they feel.

I know how it feels for those seniors to come just short of a crowning conclusion. I know how it feels to have years of hard work and sacrifice swept away in one instant by an announcer proclaiming another team the victor.

But I hope that even though they won't ever be able to claim exactly what they set out to achieve, they will forever feel connected to the deep legacy that will continue on.

I hope those girls know what a blessing it is to be part of a such a rich tradition. I hope they continue to work hard and know that there are no limits to their potential. I hope that final "rush" thrilled them tonight as much as it thrilled me, because it will never be matched in the same way again.

I also hope they can look beyond the devastation they are feeling right now. I hope they realize that nailing switch splits doesn't determine their success. I hope they appreciate their amazing coach who gives them tools to succeed in life, not just in competitions. I hope they know that they have a huge sisterhood of past contenders rallying behind them from across the world. And I hope they know that the future ahead is oh so bright.

And that life goes on.

 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Beach and Snow

Today was "Beach Day" at Blake's school.

Of course, it snowed for about the third time this winter just in time for Beach Day.

That didn't stop Blake from treading through the snow in his flip-flops.


Who ever said that snowballs and Beach Day couldn't mix?

 

Monday, February 27, 2012

500th

This is my 500th post.

I can hardly believe how much this hobby has evolved in the past four years.

I was skeptical about starting a blog at first. I didn't want to buy into another social media outlet that would waste my time.

But seeing that very first post hit the screen, just days before our first child was born, gave me an enormous rush of triumph.

I quickly discovered after launching our blog that it was an tremendous source of happiness for me. It was also a challenge and often drove me crazy with frustration as I learned to format. But the more I did, the more I wanted to do.

Blogging gave me a new identity, new skills, and a new set of friends. Those things filled me in a way that I never anticipated they would as I shared my tiny corner of the world.

A few months ago, I was asked to teach a class on setting up a blog. I was sure to mention the things that trouble me about blogs. How I sometimes view the "tip of the iceberg" that others portray on their blogs and compare my worst to their best. How I forget that most bloggers keep 90% of their icebergs under the water and hidden from view. And how technology is the latest means of comparing ourselves to others.

But, in preparation for the class, I also gathered my top ten reasons why this hobby has become such a passion of mine, and how the positive aspects make the time spent worthwhile.

1. Our blog keeps a record of family life for myself and our posterity. It makes me feel great to have a record of our lives under my belt. And because of that, I make it a priority.

2. I am able to stay in touch with family members and friends sprawled across the country.

3. I have always been an avid journal keeper so our blog is the perfect step-up from a journal.

4. It is a forum to share photography and creative ideas. I don't think I would have ever started to dabble in photography if it weren't for blogging. And now, even though I am far from professional, it is such a huge part of my life. I dream about lenses and editing techniques and thoroughly enjoy the nitty gritty details.

5. Our blog gives me an avenue to share thoughts that are swirling around in my mind. I don’t have the best memory and I’m always worried that I will forget the details of the moments that matter most. I feel like I must have a photo and writing about things to really grasp them before they slip quietly out of my brain never to be remembered. To me, the photos and written descriptions are like a safety-net, holding on to those things I cherish most in life. I can relax at the end of the day knowing that moments have been recorded and I no longer have to keep the details in the forefront of my memory.

6. Writing and sharing my ideas helps me be more deliberate about my mothering and other personal goals. Somehow spilling out how I feel makes me more conscientious of how I live my life. When I write something on our blog it motivates me to really follow through.

7. It is a way to gather ideas from others. Some of my challenges have literally been answered by friends and strangers from across the world. Just knowing that I’m not alone in certain struggles is so comforting and it really builds me up. I love all the inspiring things people write back and I have taken so many comments to heart.

8. I love to promote the joy and power of motherhood. One of the nicest compliments I ever received was that my blog "makes motherhood 'cool'," and I have carried that close to my heart ever since. Motherhood is the most important "career" in the world and I want to popularize how rewarding it is.

9. I am fortunate enough that my passions of blogging and web design have evolved into a part-time, work-from-home career. The design work challenges and thrills me. Getting to know new people each week and transforming their little corners of the world wide web into something beautiful encompasses everything I love; creativity, organization, mathematical trial and error, positive feedback, and an enormous sense of accomplishment.

10. Writing is a way of reminding myself to savor the moments of everyday life and to pay more attention to people rather than to things. For my own sanity, I feel happier when I am able to put all my thoughts down in the written form.

I can't wait to see where the next 500 posts and beyond will take me.

 
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